Relationship Redux

Recently, I've had a lot of time on my hands. And when I'm not engaging in my favorite pastime (masturbation), I've been having deep thoughts - usually as I masturbate.

When emerging from a long relationship, it's normal to rebound out of control. But it's also nearly as normal to think about what it is that you want in your next partner. Typically these attributes are things that were either: a) really awesome with your ex, or b) totally fucking absent.

So, without further verbosity, here's my list:
1) Horny on demand
2) Wealthy
3) A good cook

Actually, there was a fourth that made it onto the list: no speaky engrish. But the more I thought about it, the language barrier probably introduced more problems than it solved. But I'm not totally convinced of this.